Porn is love you can see.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
