I can tuck mytits in my pants
Non-Jews are for practice
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
