All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
