You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
