I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
