Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
