Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
