M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
