Apparently you make a good broom.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
