I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
either way he was missing a nipple.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
