i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
