Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize