Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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