Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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