I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
