that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
