two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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