It's Friday. Sex?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
