lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
