Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
