Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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