Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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