yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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