I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
