bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I enjoy the company of your penis
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
