do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
