Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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