Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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