You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize