i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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