so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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