she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
