This girl is more easily done than said...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
