when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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