This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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