found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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