I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
