I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
