Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
