Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
