Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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