I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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