i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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