The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
