6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
