In the future we'll all be gay
I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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