So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
