I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
