So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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