How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He shit in the fireplace
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
