I think my fart just growled at me.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
