there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
