I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
