wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
