Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm too high and old for this...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize