I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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