tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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