i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Vodka?
Forever.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
