Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
