I'm gonna have a badass scar
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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