Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Pants are for mortals
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
