dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
