would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
